Judging your Judgement

     Do you ever have those moments or periods in life, where the veil is lifted from your vision, and you see the world in a new light?  You realize what was once the ugly duckling to you is now a graceful swan.  What was once rude and out of ordinary, is now so right, so good, it is ordinary beyond the boundaries of habit.  You realize, what was once a beautiful and perfect reflection, is now a cracked image, slammed with the gavel of your own judgement.

     I am in one of those moments, and trying to absorb as much truth before my vision is biased once more.  For right now, at this moment, I am seeing clearly the faults in myself that I reflect upon others.  I see the truth in matters that were once decided correct or incorrect without even the slightest glance towards the happenings.  I see the truth in my feelings of past, which were so exaggerated, whether to the good or bad light, that I could not realize reality if it shoved itself down my throat and tried to gag the words out of me.  The world holds a newborn effect on me.  It is captivating, possible, and impossible.  Music holds a new sound for me.  It is eerie, almost tearful, yet, my heart pounds to the rhythm.  The sun, how it shines light on the growth of the world, allowing no shadow for hidden secrets, signifies the moments I'm in everyday.  It makes me wonder why we stay indoors so often.  The sun is always out, whether it is winter, spring, or summer, shining and revealing shadow.  So why do we continue to hide?  Because there are dangers to standing in the sun?  Well, put some sunscreen on and go stand in the light of truth, for as long as you can, before the sun dies out for the night...or for all eternity.  

     What if the sun were never to rise again?  Would you be willing then to bask in its rays, allowing it to affect yourself?  And why should it make a difference whether it were to rise once more or forever more?  If you are willing to live in reality, and accept truths, and you stand in the sun, why should it matter if the opportunity will cease to exist.  Should you not have run into the blinding pool the moment the first ray reached the retina of your eye?  Did you allow the light to flow in through the pupil, or did you squint and obscure the image of reality?  And if so, would you regret the decision of squinting?  Or was it instinct?  Either way, you now have wrinkles as a reminder of that moment of decision...or was it instinct?  And would you let those lines remind you of the dangers?  Would you let them hold you back from running towards that sun once more?  Or would you try again, this time ready to accept all the spots and wrinkles that might come from standing in the sun? 

     The sun is always there, they say. It has been for thousands of years.  But you are not.  You never know when you might rise for the last time, or set never to shine your light again.  The question is, are you willing to exist in the shining light of something that changes your perspective on life, or are you only capable of accepting your own version of reality?

-Madel